As seen on the front page of Buzzfeed! 🙂
“I’m about to have a nervous breakdown…” – said anyone who’s ever taken public transport.
1. No matter how early you leave your house, you are always just on the verge of missing your train and forced to run to make it, leaving you sweaty and angry.
2. You reach your platform and your whole day is ruined by the amount of other commuters waiting to catch your train
3. Trying to decide where to stand to have optimal access to the doors when the train arrives is like playing Russian Roulette. Wait. WHY ARE THE DOORS OVER THERE?
4. The train starts approaching and the platform instantly becomes a mosh pit of people trying to beat you to a seat. Elbows are thrown around so unconcernedly you wonder if you’ll even make it out alive.
5. Someone cuts in front of you and you are forced to stand next to them while they enjoy the cushiony luxury of a seat while you stand and sweat more.
6. After running and just making it in time to catch this public form of torture, the conductor announces that there are train delays and we will be stuck here until further notice.
7. Of course the train is a sweaty gas chamber with not a stitch of oxygen and all you are doing is inhaling pure body odour and carbon monoxide.
8. Some guy behind you is groping you so aggressively you start to wonder if it’s possible to get pregnant through several layers of clothing.
9. You are stuck in the awkward position between saying nothing and enduring the suffering or saying something and then being stuck standing next to them for the entire train journey.
10. To make matters worse you see a group of school children taking up several seats with bags the size of human torsos while you are and being bummed to death by your groper.
11. Someone is getting off at the next station so they offer you a seat and for a brief moment your faith in humanity is restored, making you want to dance with joy.
12. But the happiness is fleeting and short lived when you realise you have sat next to a human waste container who smells of rotting cabbage and wet dog.
13. You are then accosted by an overly optimistic commuter who actually thinks there is enough room for a 3rd body in this 2 ½ seater.
14. The emotional reaction you have when you get off the train… “OMG MY STOP! I MADE IT!”
15. People who drove to work try and sympathise with you but they will never know…